The Madness and Charm of Crushes

“If we only encounter another person in a fairly limited range of situations (a train journey, rather than when they are trying to get a toddler into a car seat; a conference, rather than 87 minutes into a shopping trip with their elderly father) we may, for a very long time indeed (especially if we are left alone to convert our enthusiasm into an obsession because they don’t call us back or are playing it cool), have the pleasure of believing we have landed upon an angel.” – Garry Winogrand

I’ve found myself incidentally having many conversations lately about Missed Connections, though I haven’t written on the subject for awhile, or even actively read the posts of Toronto’s lusting Craigslisters.

I thought about Missed Connections yesterday when one of my friends, Sofi (see below!), recently shared a link to On the Madness and Charm of Crushes, from which these quotes are borrowed. It addresses the unbearable lightness of crushes – a subject in which I’m personally (sigh) and academically (still?) well-versed.

“We should enjoy our crushes. A crush teaches us about qualities we admire and need to have more of in our lives. The person on the train really does have an extremely beguiling air of self-deprecation in their eyes. The person glimpsed by the fresh fruit counter really does promise to be a gentle and excellent parent. But these characters will, just as importantly, also be sure to ruin our lives in key ways, as all those we love will.”

The article captures the oscillating optimism and pessimism of crushes, suggesting that they do have a function to play. A good read about the impulse behind Missed Connections, while never actually mentioning these posts.

 *Sofi’s rad matchmaking service Friend of a Friend celebrates its 1st anniversary, and today only (May 22, 2014), she’s offering a 25% discount on registrations – hurry, if you’re looking for more than just a crush.

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